Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Why You Shouldn’t Care What Others Think About You

This article was written by Micheal Miles. I read it in 2012 and really like it. You may get his new book 'Thirty Days to Change Your Life' and support him by clicking here.

Who’s in control of your life? Who’s pulling your strings?

For the majority of us, it’s other people – society, colleagues, friends, family or our religious community. We learned this way of operating when we were very young, of course. We were brainwashed. We discovered that feeling important and feeling accepted was a nice experience and so we learned to do everything we could to make other people like us. We didn’t want to be singled out by the crowd for being different because this wasn’t such a nice feeling. We learned this way of being so well that, as adults, we continue – mostly through mutual peer pressure – to keep each other in check. Like sheep without any need for a sheepdog, we keep each other in line.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”  – Oscar Wilde

It works both ways. First, we are afraid of disapproval. Am I dressed right? Will people laugh at my accent? Will I look stupid? Will I make a mistake? When we feel that others think badly of us, it makes us feel bad and so we try to avoid this.

Second, we all want to feel important and so we crave the positive attention of others. This is one of our basic needs, according to Dale Carnegie, author of the multi-million best seller, How to Win Friends and Influence People. And so when people stroke our ego and tell us how wonderful we are, it makes us feel good. We crave this good feeling like a drug – we are addicted to it and seek it out wherever we can.

We are so desperate for the approval of others that we live unhappy and limited lives, denying huge swathes of ourselves and failing to do the things we really want to do because we’re worried about what other people will think. Just as drug addicts and alcoholics live impoverished lives to keep getting their fix, so we impoverish our own existence to get our own constant fix of approval.

The drug is so addictive that most people will not give it up – they will keep looking for approval because the hit is so intense. But, just as with any drug, there is a price to pay. The price of the approval drug is freedom – the freedom to be ourselves. Do you want your drug or do you want to be free? You cannot have both. If you want to pull your own strings, you need to stop giving away your power – you need to genuinely stop caring what other people think about you.

The truth is that it’s all an illusion anyway – you cannot control what other people think. People have their own agenda, they come with their own baggage and, in the end, they’re more interested in themselves than in you; in fact, they’re thinking about themselves ‘morning, noon and after dinner,’ as Carnegie wrote.

If we try to live by the opinions of others, we will build our life on sinking sand. Everyone has a different way of thinking, and people change their opinions all the time. The person who tries to please everyone will only end up getting exhausted and probably pleasing no one in the process.

So how can we take back control? If we are truly ready to give up the drug of approval and importance (which most people are not), I think there’s only one way – make a conscious decision to stop caring what other people think.

This doesn’t mean that you should start to treat people badly, step on them or use them. Why would it? I read somewhere recently that the world would be terrible if nobody cared what other people thought of them. But why so? We all know what’s right and wrong. I have written before about guiding your life by means of a set of values – not values imposed from the outside by others, but innate values which come from within. If we are driven by these values and not by the changing opinions and value systems of others, we will live a more authentic, effective, purposeful and happy life. We will be actualized and successful.

Only one question remains – do you really want to be free?

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Make one mistake and you might lose everything.

It is amazing how one mistake in this could make you lose everything. All it could take is a fraction of a second, and you would lose everything.

Get caught cheating on your wife/girlfriend/spouse only once after years of attachment, and you will lose your engagement.

Work 10 years with Google Adsense, make thousands of dollars with them, monetize your site, and violate their terms one time only, and you will get banned from Adsense forever without a possibility of getting back into the system.

Upload a nude picture on your facebook profile, and your profile would be disabled permanently.

Get caught cheating in Harvard university test or take-home exam and you will get kicked out.

Chat on whatsapp while you're driving at 200 km/hour and your life will probably end.

Drop your new iPhone 6 in the water, and it is dead.

It takes only one instant, one fraction of a second to mess up and everything would end, be careful!

Thursday, January 29, 2015

How to respond to someone when they tell you to "Get a life"?

Sometimes, many insecure people tell a member of their family or their friends to get a life, implying that the person they're insulting does not have an interesting life or does not have a social life or even does not have friends at all.

The phrase get a life is pretty common, and many times you just want to respond back to them,  just for revenge or even to make them shut up. Here is a list of comebacks (or responses) I gathered online to help you shut the haters:

1) I had one before starting this conversation with you.

2) Can you tell me where you got yours so I know where not to shop for it?

3) But what if I get one, and it's as screwed up as yours?

4) Get a brain.

5) When did you get a time machine? Where are you from? About 1996 right?

6) If your conversation is online, you can send them this meme:
7) Well, since you're not using yours, can I have it?

8) Oh, thank you. [Send a smile.]. Get a life too, you badly need it, trust me.

9) Sure. Where do you rent yours from?

10) I have one and it is better than yours.

11) Whatever.

12) What! Like yours? No thanks.

13) Get a better insult.

14) I have one, I'm just stuck arguying with your ignorance.

15) Get laid.

16) Pffft. Lives are for noobs. Real men sit at a computer all day and scream to eachother in text.

17) You mean like yours? No thanks, I'll pass.


Yes, 18 is empty. You can simply ignore them. 

Monday, November 17, 2014

Why Courage the Cowardly dog show is a sad show

Courage the cowardly dog is my favorite cartoon show and courage is my favorite cartoon character of all the time.  It was written, produced, and created by American animator John R. Dilworth.  The show is about a dog named Courage and his owners, Muriel and Eustace, facing rather strange and supernatural creatures in their home in The Middle of Nowhere (fictional Nowhere, KS). Courage the Cowardly Dog is very much known for its surrealism and sense of horror more than its humor. The show was canceled on November 22, 2002. Despite the show's reputation of it being comedy/horror, I can remember sad episodes and moments:

  • Observe the relationship between Eustace and his mother, both of them cruel, cold people. Eustace is the way he is due to his mother, and, if one episode in particular is anything to go by, his mother was made this way by a loved one too. Two of the biggest rude and impolite people in the show are the result of a cycle of abuse.

  • Remembrance of Courage Past episode: which shows how Courage met Muriel. Especially with the revelation that his parents were put on a rocket and shot into space by a sadistic vet, with Courage outside the rocket trying to stop it. He escapes the vet by going down a trash chute and you see him land in a dumpster, and he waves to the rocket flying away. Muriel finds courage with panties crying near the garbage and she adopts him

  • The Curse of Shirley, where a hallucinating Eustace takes pity on a young version of himself. Eustace, by all means the biggest selfish jerk ever portrayed on any Cartoon Network show. Eustace: "No hat? That's not right, little boy without a... a little boy should have a hat." It's even more sad if you consider that Eustace was seeing this through a mirror that was meant to show one's true self. It was broken beforehand, but it may have been shown that Eustace is, deep down inside, a sad man who lashes out at everyone due to a painful childhood.

  • The Queen Of the Black Puddle, a ghastly woman charms Eustace and takes him to her world, and no surprisingly, Courage doesn't give a damn, and he has all the right not to. But he then sees how Muriel is devastated by having her husband taken from her, crying her heart out, and Courage realizes he'd rather put up with Eustace's crap for the rest of his life than to see his benevolent owner suffer. The episode makes it very clear (or sad) to see that Courage saves Eustace, even though he doesn't deserve it, because his love for Muriel spoke louder than his dislike of Eustace.

  • The Hunchback of Nowhere: A lonely and deformed hunchback goes from door to door just seeking shelter only to be called ugly or a freak by everyone, including Eustace, and having them slam the door in his face. He and Courage build a friendship that's both heartwarming and as Courage shows the poor soul kindness for once in his life. And the climax only adds to this: as Courage and the Hunchback put on a show for Muriel, Eustace tries to ruin it. The Hunchback's response? He puts on a Eustace mask and forces him to see himself for who he is, which is only more heartrending when you realize that it's not just Eustace: it's for all the people who have said he's just a freak.

  • Now the saddest episode of courage the cowardly dog is this one, without doubt it is the most thematic, dark, and realistic episode of the show: The Mask.  The episode is a perfect example of how this show is not just for kids, it portrays several serious themes, such as feminismdomestic abuseprostitution, and homosexuality.  A mysterious cat named Kitty, dressed in a strange white mask, finds Courage's place, sits on dinner,  explaining that her friend Bunny is being abused by a gangster dog named Mad Dog, and that she hates dog.  Kitty tried to get Bunny to run away with her but Mad Dog finds out and tries to kill KittyKitty takes out her rage on Courage (Who is also a dog). Courage ends up rescuing Bunny from Mad Dog and reuniting her with an unmasked KittyKitty’s last line is: “I was wrong, Bunny. Not all dogs are bad. Now we can be best friends forever.” Kitty's hatred for dogs and Bunny's abuse are strong elements, and the most grim the series has seen. Replace the word “Dog” with “Man” and re-read the above, you will see the main message is clear. This episode is about more than the implied lesbian relationship between Kitty and Bunny. It’s about hiding from reality, about domestic violence, it’s about acceptance, and it’s about hate crimes.  

  • Now, the most creepy character in the show is indeed is Fred, featured in one episode which portrays two dark themes, rape and pedophilia.  Fred is Muriel’s nephew and a barber (a crazy one at that as it says on his wristband). He has an unusual obsession with shaving hair, which might be an indicator of a rapist. What makes him a pedophile is that he does forcefully shaves Courage in the bathroom where you hear a background music which turns into children singing in a creepy fashion. Second, he speaks in rhymes and mostly ends his thoughts with the word “naughty.”  He even has a poem, which got pulled off from courage wikia, because it sounded a lot naughty. This show is just not for kids.

I will forever love Courage. It is still one of the most well-made cartoons I've ever seen all my life, and definitely deserving of multiple awards; truly, it's a masterpiece. This topic was originally opened here.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Why college education is a scam

Sorry of this offends you. This posts targets American colleges and the american educational system only.

It’s ironic parents, teachers or even famous folks, are telling the children, “higher paying jobs are the way to go”. Point being, are we taught from a young age, “money = success" ?

The suicide rate of my generation (teenage) is the highest in the world and suicidal kids are rich for the most part.  The college mental health crisis is rising, it is severe. Why do you think is that?

If I had an honest conversation with college it would be like this:

University: Learn this stuff by heart.

Me: Why?

University: Because I told you.

Me: Will it be useful in the career I'm aspiring to get?

University: Not at all. You'll forget all of it 0.14232 seconds after you're done vomiting up on the exam.

Me: Why learn it this way then?

University: Because I'm an archaic system that used to have a monopoly on the production of knowledge but that has been unable to evolve with contemporary society. By the way your bill's ready. Pay up, sucker; you want that magical piece of paper at the end of your program, don't you?

Me: A magical piece of paper that will get me into a 9-5 job jive where it make someone else rich and lead to a path of mediocrity. Not to mention that you're taking the  most fresh years of my life, just getting sucked-up by lazy instructors and lifeless material that I will forget after one week of taking the exam!

University: Right! You need to have a certain kind of brain to understand the dead language that we write and teach you in textbooks, but we brainwash you form the little kid up, so that you buy into the system; and you get good grades, and you study hard and you become a member of the total system.

University: You don't know how to think because we told you how to think our way! It was a lie and we have let it dictate your life ever since.


During the first eighteen (highschool) years of our lives, we were given a set of beliefs that were rooted in prejudices, fears and illusions. It was never based in actual experience by any the above. They too were all lies. We fell for the spell. We were rewarded based on a punished based on meeting the approval of other's people standards not our own.

The educational system taught us, as we were growing up,  to be rewarded and punished based on meeting the approval of other people’s standards, not our own. Make good grades. Take advanced courses. Play on the sports teams. Score high on standardized tests. These metrics make for a productive workforce but not a happy workforce.

Let me explain, a kid who is excited about cars is going to have a hell much better time learning about math and physics if they can be put in the context that he cares about.

But if he isn't responsible for the why of what he is leaning, then he's not learning physics and math, he's learning how to fake it and make someone else happy.

According to surveys in U.S. News and World Report,  
80% of “high-achieving” high school students admit to cheating.
51% of high school students did not believe cheating was wrong.
95% of cheating high school students said that they had not been detected.
75% of college students admitted cheating, and 90% of college students didn't believe cheaters would be caught.
Almost 85% of college students said cheating was necessary to get ahead.

Do you know why?

Your system is performance-based and not purpose-based. It teaches mimicry and not passion.

It’s to satisfy somebody else’s standard. Probably, a future employer? It didn't evolve.

Cellphone evolution:


College evolution:

How many times growing up did you ever hear students complain: 

This is pointless. Why do I have to learn this?

And, they would still learn it. And probably never use it in college. They get trained to become performance-based employees. Workers who don't think.

This will never lead to any one's self-satisfaction.  This is called spiritual suicide.

That's why academia completely and utterly is worthless for any person who desires to reach his or her full potential.

The emphasis on success as external performance is a vestige in this industrial age — it molded us, kids, teenagers, and adults into pliant worker bees, not happy individuals. It doesn't make sense anymore.

College nowadays forces their authority on students. 

Making the student dependent on authority, focusing on performance over purpose, is a main core foundation of academia. It kills thinking. It promotes mindless parroting and inane certainty. It keeps crap TV on the air.

Do you know how the American educational system work

According to my experience, I can safely say that:

  • College's traditional basic skills are out of date. Communication has shifted and now revolves around different technology such as the mobile phone, the internet, games playing. Student adept at understanding, interaction, communication, but in different forms; but college didn't! 

  • College forces a student at 18 years old to pick a future career from that young age. College expects that all teens know what they want to study in.

  • College makes students memorize page after page technical words and theories without having to understand them. Or worse, you make us have to use them in sentences and deduct points when we don't copy the textbook's phrases word for word.

  • College makes students  study and study and study so in-depth and so narrowly that they have we no context of how it relates to anything else.

Higher education today has become a money making machine for lazy professors and administrators.

Counter-argument: But, I don't want my doctor to be self-taught. Without a college degree, how can anyone be a doctor?

This also applies to teachers, engineers, accountants, architects, librarians, lawyers, pharmacists, medical technicians, IT professionals, etc... -  those are all jobs that typically require a college degree from the employers and the government.

But, you don't seem to be getting the point, that I'm not against education, I'm against the educational system. It has to be changed, because it is destroying education, and the evidence is showing.

While enrolling in a college education will give you a background about the profession, and give you a piece of paper showing you've been an academic slave, it will make it efficient for you to work, it will model you into being a worker bee, and besides most people get any degree for moneystatus, or making dad or mom's dream come true ; and you know that. Rarely, college students enroll or study a field because they're interested in it.

Besides, you really learn when you start practicing your profession.

The way that most of teachers teach, and the educational system makes students hate learning. Classes have turned into an extravagant, pointless, ugly desire to get the "A". Less social disapproval coupled with increased competition for admission into universities and graduate schools has made us more willing to do whatever it takes to get the A. The "A", that pointless letter.

Students are trained only to think inside the box, this is proven by the rigid architecture in our entire education system that forces students to take certain courses that most will never apply in their life or in their careers, ie. Physics, Calculus Algebra, Geometry etc.

Instead of focusing on a child's aptitude at an early age and pushing them toward a career path with courses that are tailor-made for their future careers, students are pushed into a 1,000 year-old anecdotal non-sense belief system that encourages students to waste time taking courses to be "become more well-rounded".

At worse, grad school forces a student to choose one topic to study in insane depth and to choose a topic that basically conformed to the topics people had been choosing to research for decades and decades already. And instead of coming up with grand new ideas,  they spend my time parsing out some tiny little angle on the same goddamned idea people had been writing about for decades.

They force them to specialize, specialize, specialize. It will drive the poor academic student batshit crazy. Rather than getting smarter and more educated, the student will be learning more than they will ever wanted to know (and more than anyone else would ever want to know) about one tiny aspect of something. They're not getting smarter. They're becoming an uber-specialist on something that’s so detailed that no one but you is going to care about.

That’s not important work. That’s pointless mental masturbation.

Doesn't this to relate why Millennials are unemployed, underemployed and headed for disaster?

Success, by today’s standard, has been defined as having lots of worthless degrees, money, power and fame. It's to appear happily employed when you're really not, it’s to drive a luxury car or a big SUV, it’s to live in a McMansion at a prominent address and to send your children to private schools, it’s to be members of the country club or the next best thing in your small mind, it’s to run with all the “right” people with worthless degree and big college debts who also haven't found their talents nor have they risen to their full potential and found their destiny. It’s all one big lie.

Our teachers are brainwashed and we need to do something about it.

We need real education instead of schooling, indoctrination where they you give a degree only for being an obedient idiot.

Quite everyone is interested in something, everyone is genius in something, but the "educational" system we have kills our creativity in early age and makes homogeneous drones, internally struggling all our life because of a fake education forcing lifeless education material. It's a control system that has been holding us back for ages. 

The question that we should be asking ourselves, students, is the more profound one: "Given that we do exist, what are we going to accomplish with our existence?" Right now, we are largely squandering our existence because we never ask ourselves this question as a species.

A common logical question one can ask is, "Why am I going to college?" Given these information, we can now answer the question definitively: There is no "reason" to go to college and pursue a degree. You can learn anything online. It's time we stop aiming for degrees and pieces of paper.

The question that we should be asking ourselves is simple: What is our goal as a species? We are, potentially, the only intelligent species in the entire universe. What are we going to do with our existence? Are we going to waste our time in college pursuing a degree and A's? Have you ever considered it?

Friday, May 30, 2014

Why is your life so empty?

This article “Why is your life so empty?” was published by Ted Burnett in 2009-2010. It has been taken away from the internet for unknown reasons. But since it is one of my favorite articles of all the time and I thought I'd share it with you. Please appreciate those wise words and read them very carefully. This article may have been altered for display reasons. Enjoy...

Ted Burnett, find his site here.

The following piece was conceived after reading one too many shallow comments posted on my Facebook community scroll by old classmates, acquaintances and complete strangers given the reality of our current world troubles. This piece was written for this same Facebook community. It’s an exercise in writing as much as anything, an opportunity to play with words and express some thoughts. After being posted on Thursday morning the initial reaction has been very positive.

Why is your life so empty? The answer -- You've been lied to your whole life. The trouble all began when your parents brought you home from the hospital. Your role was to fill the void in their marriage, to plug a gaping hole. You did well for a brief time until you became a bundle of problems, yourself. Over the years, they told you who you were and what you would one day become. It was a lie. They insisted that you give up your integrity, dignity and sanity, in order, to live in their house and by their rules. Your needs were repeatedly neglected for their wants. Your childhood was an unhappy one. 

They introduced you to church and convinced you that you were born a sinner. You were told that you needed to perform in some ritual to become a Church member in good standing, before and at the pleasure of the congregation, to purify your already clean soul. The trick worked and worked so well that you kept returning each Sunday morning to hear how you were a sinner and how God was angry with your innocent self. You swallowed the hook, line and sinker. You fell for the spell. 

At the age of four or five years old, you were sent off to elementary school. There you were defined by your attendance, behavior and performance on assignments, papers, tests and exams. You were defined by your grades and ranked, accordingly. It was a lie and you have let it dictate your life ever since. During the first eighteen years of your life you were given a set of beliefs that were rooted in prejudices, fears and illusions, but well-meaning. It was never based in actual experience by any the above. They too were all lies. You are now cut-off from your fellow man by an inflated Ego, from your humanity and now you’re all alone. The world seems like a scary place, but that’s just another illusion. Without integrity, dignity and sanity, you graduated from high school lacking in self-esteem and in self-confidence, both, are critical for having any real success and personal fulfillment. 

Now in your thirties and forties, you’ve never found your talents and it’s finally showing. Without your talents, you won't ever know how to rise up to your full potential and how to reach your destiny. You are not an actor, an artist, a composer, an inventor, a musician, a philosopher, a poet, a sculptor or a writer. You're none of these. Therefore, our society constantly reminds you that your best chance of "success" is in playing some foolish role on your own little stage for the “world” to see. It’s a short-cut straight to hell. Thus, you begin your first act, at the church, getting married to fill a spiritual void. It doesn’t work, so you have a baby to try to fill that same void. It doesn't work, either. 

Over the years, you tell your children who they are and what will become of them one day. You insist that they give up their integrity, dignity and sanity, in order, to live in your house and by your rules. Their needs are repeatedly neglected for your wants. Their childhood is an unhappy one, just like yours was. You tell them to get over it or simply bribe them.

Success, by today’s standard, has been defined as having lots of money, power and fame. It's to appear happily married when you're really not, it’s to drive a luxury car or a big SUV, it’s to live in a McMansion at a prominent address and to send your children to private schools, it’s to be members of the country club or the next best thing in your small mind, it’s to run with all the “right” people who also haven't found their talents nor have they risen to their full potential and found their destiny. It’s all one big lie.

What society is arguing for is a straight-jacket fit to wear. Secondly, our society is anything, but natural. It's completely artificial and built on heavy amounts of brainwashing, conditioning by man's cherished institutions of family, church, school,
"capitalism", "democracy" and society.

It's dysfunctional and we're all drug addicts, as a result, to mask our pain and suffering. This truth is very ugly, but so is cancer. The question is -- Whether we should have the surgery or not? I'm advocating for the surgery, but first we have to agree that it's a cancer that's killing us.

If you fell through this article you're a lucky person especially if your young, do something before it's too late.

This is why your life is so empty. Wake Up! to this truth while you're still young enough to do something about it.

How did you like that display of fireworks?

Have a great day.